This idea of purpose seems to intimidate people. Many feel their purpose must be big and monumental to be worthwhile. This may or may not be true…just depends on the person. Identifying one’s purpose should be a simple, clarifying activity of who one is and what is important to that one. Starting with a purpose that makes sense in your immediate life and evolving it as you evolve is a totally acceptable path.
Mr. Gray concludes his powerful essay by giving sound, practical guidelines on how to establish purpose; for purpose is a required variable in the The Common Denominator of Success.
“So let’s talk about purpose. First of all, your purpose must be practical and not visionary. Some time ago, I talked with a man who thought he had a purpose that was more important to him than income. He was interested in the sufferings of his fellow man, and he wanted to be placed in a position to alleviate that suffering. But when we analysed his real feelings, we discovered and he admitted it, that what he really wanted was a really nice job dispensing charity with other people’s money and being well paid for it, along with the appreciation and feeling of importance that would naturally go with such a job. But in making your purpose practical, be careful not to make it logical. Make it a purpose of the sentimental or emotional type. Remember that needs are logical while wants and desires are sentimental and emotional. Your needs will push you just so far, but when your needs are satisfied,they will stop pushing you. If, however, your purpose is in terms of wants and desires, then your wants and desires will keep pushing you long after your needs are satisfied and until your wants and desires are fulfilled.
Recently I was talking with a young man who long ago discovered the common denominator of success without identifying his discovery. He had a definite purpose in life and it was definitely a sentimental or emotional purpose. He wanted his boy to go through college without having to work his way through as he had done. He wanted to avoid for his little girl the hardships that his own sister had had to face in her childhood. And he wanted his wife to enjoy the luxuries and comforts, and even necessities, which had been denied his own mother. And he was willing to form the habit of doing things he didn’t like to do in order to accomplish this purpose. Not to discourage him, but rather to have him encourage me, I said to him, “Aren’t you going a little too far with this thing? There’s no logical reason why your son shouldn’t be willing to work his way through college just as his father did. Of course he’ll miss many of the things that you missed in your college life and he’ll probably have heartaches and disappointments. But if he’s any good, he’ll come through in the end just as you did. And there’s no logical reason why you should slave in order that your daughter may have the things which your own sister wasn’t able to have, or in order that your wife can enjoy comforts and luxuries that she wasn’t used to before she married you.”
He looked at me with rather a pitying look and said, “But there’s no inspiration in logic. There’s no courage in logic. There’s not even happiness in logic. There’s only satisfaction. The only place logic has in my life is in the realisation that the more I am willing to do for my wife and children, the more I shall be able to do for myself.” I imagine, after hearing that story, you won’t have to be told how to find your purpose or how to identify it or how to surrender to it. If it’s a big purpose, you will be big in its accomplishment. If it’s an unselfish purpose, you will be unselfish in accomplishing it. And if it’s an honest purpose, you will be honest and honourable in the accomplishment of it.
But as long as you live, don’t ever forget that while you may succeed beyond your fondest hopes and your greatest expectations, you will never succeed beyond the purpose to which you are willing to surrender. Furthermore, your surrender will not be complete until you have formed the habit of doing the things that failures don’t like to do.”
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