Your Millennial Coach

“Why” to the 7th Power

Happiness
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I recently completed a self-reflection exercise that caused me to dig deeper into my “why” than ever before.  It came from a book that was gifted to me by my father.  It challenged my internal conventional thinking around why I do what I do.  I thought I knew. I thought I was clear. What I discovered surprised me and brought new meaning.  It took work, time, reflection, and genuine honesty around who I am and how my past experiences have shaped and molded my thinking, fears, and insecurities.  

Being clear on our customized, personal “why” is what drives us to push forward when things don’t go our way and we want to give up. Having a surface “why” will not generate enough momentum to overcome discomfort, fear, and pain.  It can help for a period but for us to sustain energy to change and make our lives great we need to dig deeper.

I call this “Why to the 7th Power” based on my own personal experience but it is technically called the “Seven Levels Deep Exercise”.  For me, it seemed the deeper I got the power of the “why” got exponentially more powerful, real, and accurate.

This is how it works:

  • Find a Partner or Notebook:  It is preferable that you find a partner with whom you can do the exercise (needs to be someone who will take it seriously).  You can do it on your own but just be sure to write out your answers and be free to expound and ask yourself questions throughout.
  • Ask yourself “why”:  Start exercise by answering the question why you are doing this exercise.  Record your answer. For example: “I am doing this exercise because I want to progress and be happier in my life as I am unfulfilled today”.
  • Summarize previous “why” and ask “why” again:  Continuing the example:  “Why do you believe progress and happiness will bring fulfillment to your life?”.  Answer this question.
  • Repeat until you have completed your seventh “why”:  Continue until you have answered each of the seven “why’s”.  The book states that any “why” before or after the seventh “why” will not get you to your true “why”.  Stick to the seventh.

Give it a try.  Have faith that you can answer each question with confidence and authority.  No one knows you better than you know yourself. Be free with exploring reasons and rationale behind each of your answers.  Inspiration, insight, and power will come as we genuinely work each “why” of the seven levels.

Seven Levels Deep Worksheet

Desire: How do I get it?

Choice
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What do we do when we want to change some aspect of our lives but we lack the desire to do so?  We know we should change but the motivation escapes us? It feels as though this absence of desire is completely out of our control and only comes upon us if it chooses to do so.  We can all empathize with this dynamic in some form or fashion when it comes to dieting, exercise, reading, writing, stopping an addiction, being more extroverted, cleaning, etc. The list goes on and on.  If we accept this passive, powerless position then life will be full of heartache, pain, and emptiness. We will be driven ever inward blaming something or someone for our cursed life.

What is the alternative?  If we do not have the desire then we do not have the desire…right?  We can’t just magically make this desire appear…can we? No…magic is not involved and it won’t just appear as we so desperately wish it would.  Instead, desire, much like many aspects of life, follows the laws of nature…most specifically the law of growth.

Growth, as observed in the natural world, happens slowly and incrementally but starts with a seed.  To achieve our desired landscape, a landowner strategically places a seed in a specific location on his property.  The initial decision to plant a seed is preceded by an observation. The landowner wants a specific type of plant, in a specific location, for a specific purpose.  Next, he proceeds to plant the seed. This interim period from planning to execution may have taken hours, days, weeks, months, or years. The time variation is dependent on the landowner’s willingness to simply plant the seed.  Once he makes the decision and actually starts the process then the growth can start. There is no way around this. He must make, and follow through with, the decision to start.

Upon planting the seed and providing the proper nourishment of sun, water, and soil the seed will grow if it is a good seed.  The growth he observes will motivate him to continue the process of nurturing the seed. As it grows so does the landowner’s desire to nurture it.  The process continues until the seed fulfills its purpose and becomes a beautiful tree bearing fruit, flowers, or shade. It is now strong, self-sufficient, and provides great value to the landowner.  It becomes one with the landscape, deeply rooted in its place. None of this could have occurred without the initial decision to have faith and take that first step of planting the seed.

We are the landowners.  The seed is the attribute, characteristic, or habit we want to possess but lack the desire to do so.  By leveraging our “want” we can find the motivation to take that first step of planting. That first step, which is a decision we have control over, kick-starts the growth process.  In these early stages we will observe a change, feeling, or some sort of result that will provide the needed motivation to continue. The process has started and if we are diligent it will grow into something beautiful.  If the nurtured activity, attribute, or goal does not yield fulfillment, change, and growth we may need to reevaluate if this seed is a good seed. Is it something we should continue to pursue? Careful…we need to be honest in our evaluation of the effort we have put forth to nurture the seed enough to see it grow.   Have faith! Take the first step and allow the subsequent process to carry us towards fulfillment, peace, and happiness.

The Gift of Weakness

Connection
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In my adolescence and throughout much of my adulthood I have viewed weakness as a burden; a burden that held me back from so much of what life had to offer.  I would go to great lengths to hide my weaknesses so others would approve of, and maybe even, admire me. This would satisfy my strong desire to be liked. Subconsciously, the more perfect I was the more God and others would approve and like me.   

This pattern of living was not fully revealed to me until I went to marriage counseling eight years ago.  Through many hours of conversation and reflection, I realized that my need to be perceived as perfect created a tremendous stumbling block for myself and my marriage.  Others were challenged to relate to someone who appeared to be perfect. In many cases, it was a stumbling block to develop authentic, real relationships; the very relationships that I wanted so desperately to nurture and grow.  

The interesting thing is that my need to be and present “perfect” hindered my path towards perfection.  Perfection, of course, is not a destination in this life but a journey. Thus the perception of perfection distanced me from my goals of creating a happy marriage and meaningful relationships with my children and others.  It also had the power to hinder growth and development in my career and community responsibilities. I had to change; but how?

I started by changing my view of weakness.  I have come to learn that weakness is not a burden.  It is actually a vehicle that allows me to grow and progress in all aspects of life.  Recognition of my shortcomings to my wife, children, friends, and associates create vulnerability and, therefore, closeness.  This recognition is often accompanied by an apology. We are closer as a result of the acknowledgement of who I am and what I have done.  This also sets a precedence that weakness is okay and acceptable in our relationship and in life. Weakness is who we are and dealing with it open and honestly is the only way we will progress individually and as couple, family, team, etc.  Weakness allows us to connect with others on a level impossible if it were ignored.

This open approach also has allowed me to deepen my relationship with God.  I feel I have always been open and honest with God in regards to my weaknesses.  I knew that he knew so there was no sense in hiding. What I lacked was the humility to allow him to truly change me.  Since weakness was something to hide from others I did not allow God to use others to accomplish this end. When I was willing to humble myself before God AND others only then did my weaknesses start to become strengths.  

One of my earliest experiences with this concept came during my freshman year of college.  In high school I was weak in studying and academics. I was ashamed of this and hid it the best I could.  This caused me to shy away from the very people who could help me succeed. After high school graduation, I recognized that my success in college may dictate, in large measure, my success in life.  This caused me to rely more fully upon a God I knew. I had relied on Him in the past with some success but still was figuring things out. With full recognition of my weakness I decided to give myself fully to God in regards to this weakness.  This complete reliance meant I had to honestly ensure that I did my part.

My part meant getting tutors in certain subjects, learning from the study habits of others, and join study groups where appropriate.  When others were involved this made me vulnerable to exposing my weakness. Fortunately, my desire to succeed in life outweighed my desire to be viewed as smart and capable.  I finished my freshman year by receiving a spring term scholarship and a high enough GPA that allowed me to transfer to a top-tier University.

I have learned that God is more likely to help us when we are willing to humble ourselves, seek his will and guidance, and involve others in our process to become better.  My freshman year of college allowed me to have a much deeper and more meaningful relationship with God. I learned of his power to help me when I not only recognized my weakness but was willing to expose it to others.  God gives us weakness so that we may know of his power and grow closer to him. God gives us weakness so that we may grow closer to others and put ourselves in a position to not only be helped but to help others on their path as well.  

Weakness is a gift.  Heading into the new year allow your weaknesses to become a vehicle through which you deepen your relationship with others while gaining all the benefits of a better life.

Digital Parenting: Phones, Depression, Suicide – They Are Linked

Connection

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One of the greatest fears amongst parents is that their child will prematurely die.  Even worse is that their child will be the one responsible for their own death and we, as parents, could have prevented it.  

Now…what if a professional told us how to reduce this risk by more than 70%. Would we listen?  “YES!!” would be the resounding answer.

What if the “how” required us to be more attentive and set more boundaries.  Most parents would continue to listen, understanding that in order to properly support our children we need to adjust and improve as parents.

What if it required us to decrease our children’s device usage to more than a fourth of where it is today…silence.   

The last step is where most hesitate.  For many, our children’s devices are untouchable.  

I am not endorsing that we take away our children’s phones or barely give them access to the devices.  I am endorsing that we become more aware of the implications and risks that these devices are creating amongst our youth and be willing to do what is necessary to improve their relationship with the world.    

I am going to share some eye-popping information that will, hopefully, give us the strength to do what is necessary to bring about such change:  

“Brink of Worst Mental Health Crisis”

At an apple investor meeting earlier this year, two shareholders (owning more than 2 billion dollars of apple stock) shared the following:

The arrival of the smartphone has radically changed every aspect of teenagers’ lives, from the nature of their social interactions to their mental health […] Rates of teen depression and suicide have skyrocketed since 2011. It’s not an exaggeration to describe iGen as being on the brink of the worst mental-health crisis in decades. Much of this deterioration can be traced to their phones.”  9to5Mac.com

Newsweek expanded on the shareholders’ comments with the below facts:

  • The average American teenager first receives a smartphone at the age of 10 and spends over 4.5 hours a day using it.
  • Teenagers who spend more than five hours on their phones per day are 71 percent more likely to be depressed and suicidal; more than three hours a day 30% more likel.  
  • Reducing their device intake to less than one hour a day significantly decreases such depressive and suicidal tendencies.
  • Teen suicides have increased by 70%+ since 2006 amongst 10-17 year-olds (Iphone launched in 2007)

Newsweek & USA Today

No Substitute for Real Connection

One of the unintended repercussions of the iphone is how it disconnects us from the real world leaving an emotional void:

One of the ironies of iGen life is that despite spending far more time under the same roof as their parents, today’s teens can hardly be said to be closer to their mothers and fathers than their predecessors were. “I’ve seen my friends with their families—they don’t talk to them,” Athena told me. “They just say ‘Okay, okay, whatever’ while they’re on their phones. They don’t pay attention to their family.” Like her peers, Athena is an expert at tuning out her parents so she can focus on her phone. She spent much of her summer keeping up with friends, but nearly all of it was over text or Snapchat. “I’ve been on my phone more than I’ve been with actual people,” she said. “My bed has, like, an imprint of my body.” 

The article continues by highlighting this connection gap as follows:

Because teens are interacting in a way that isn’t face to face, there’s less of a connection, so it’s hard to understand what, if anything, to say when someone says they want to die. Teens say they will see a post about depression or suicide ideation and sometimes just pass it off as relatable dark humor.USA Today

Comparison is the Greatest Thief of Joy

We all do it.  Comparing our lives to others is natural.  When we see others online we are comparing the, somewhat, fictitious with our known reality.  We will almost certainly come up short.  This is the obvious comparison challenge of social media.  Others I had not thought of are:

“If super skinny — or muscular — models aren’t enough to depress a teen, flipping through social media feeds can prove misery loves at least digital company.”

Teens regularly post about hating their lives and wanting to kill themselves, so much in fact that Parks says it’s almost like a competitive “race to the bottom.”

On one hand social media provides a place to vent and get advice, but on the other hand, as Anderson said, “if everyone is commiserating over everyone, is it really helpful?””  USA Today

Today’s teens may go to fewer parties and spend less time together in person, but when they do congregate, they document their hangouts relentlessly—on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook. Those not invited to come along are keenly aware of it. Accordingly, the number of teens who feel left out has reached all-time highs across age groups. Like the increase in loneliness, the upswing in feeling left out has been swift and significant. 9to5Mac.com

So…Now What?

There is no one “right” way to address this challenge.  Below, I have included a sample family plan on how to address the issue (courtesy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints):

  1. Establish your family digital policy / Data Plan with age appropriate milestones – in writing
  2. Manage and verify usage – install parental controls (see list)
  3. Reduce screen time by ? hour per ?
  4. Increase outdoor activity by ? per ?
  5. Have a monthly ‘tech talk’ – include Positive usage of technology
  6. Implement a central charging station
  7. Establish times and places that are “no-phone zones”
  8. Provide your family with strategy to overcome bad habits
  9. Don’t yell, judge, or get mad when your kids make mistakes on technology you didn’t teach them how to use.
  10. LEAD BY EXAMPLE

No one said parenting the right way would be easy, they only said it would be worth it.

Got Community?

Community

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We live in a facebook, twitter, instagram, and snapfish world.  These online social communities easily allow us to stay current with family, friends, and acquaintances.  We are updated on everything from the simple (#loveeatingout) to the life changing (#divorcesucks). We read, view, and comment where we feel so inspired.  This process provides us with a feeling of connectivity.

But are we really connecting?  To connect is “to bring together or into contact so that a real link is established”.  Is social media providing us a “real link” with other people? It is a link but I would argue that the link is counterfeit.  I say this because of my many interactions with millennials whose community primarily consists of social media. These same millennials suffer from loneliness, depression, and addiction. They lack authentic connection which can be best found in a real community.  

Real communities are those in which a group of people come together for a common purpose.  The size of these communities range from a handful of people to thousands. Regardless of the size, the individual connections we make with these people fill an innate human need to be with and share our interests, values, and goals with others.  To maximize the internal, and external, benefits of these communities we must be willing to contribute our time, talents, and, in some cases, even our money for the specified cause. In return, they provide us with meaningful relationships, genuine support, and an expanded network that will prove helpful in the most unexpected ways.  

Traditionally these communities have been found in neighborhoods, churches, and other special interest groups. Today, because of the isolating nature of connected devices, many such communities are becoming weaker, fewer, and more difficult to join.  Difficult in the sense that many know not where to look or how to integrate themselves into them. These in-person communities require face-to-face interactions and skills that are being neglected in the upbringing of our young people.

I am passionate about communities because of the powerful way they have impacted my life. I am Christian and belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I am also a member of a smaller men’s group. They both provide me with connection, support, and happiness that is irreplaceable. For example, my wife had surgery a couple weeks ago and the women at my church brought dinners for the family during the weekdays.  This allowed me to catch up on the other household items being neglected and prevented me from becoming too overwhelmed. While all this was going on I asked around for a saw to cut down the ugly, dead palm tree leaves in our front yard. One of my friends from church had the saw I needed and we arranged a time for me to pick it up.  Without saying a word, he came to my house, while I was at work, and took care of the entire job himself. My family and I were loved and supported during a difficult time by good people in my church community. These experiences are the tip of the iceberg of the many blessings of friendship, personal progress, and service received and given over the almost four decades of my life.  

If you don’t feel you have such a community then start the process of finding one today. It is an integral part of what makes us happy.  Countless studies have validated this truth. If you have such a community but have distanced yourself from it then commit yourself to putting in the work to be a part of it again.  Social media is an inadequate substitute that will mask and distract you from developing “real link(s)”. Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone and start connecting with neighbors, groups, and/or your church community today.  If you are willing to put in the work over a sustained period of time to truly be a part of a community you will be a happier, and better, person as a result.

Family: An Orchard in Process

Family

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Raising a child is like nurturing a tree.  The early stages of a tree’s existence (seed stage) requires patience, hard work, and knowledge.  We ensure it gets the proper amount of nutrients on a consistent basis. Constant vigilance and care help ensure that external conditions of weather, pests, and disease do not permanently damage or contaminate the young plant. These early years require a lot of work with very little return.

At each new stage the conditions and challenges evolve.  Some of us study up on how to cope with these challenges. Others learn from family and friends.  We do our best and slowly, but surely, we figure things out. The tree’s needs decrease with every year but consistent nourishment is still required to fulfill its purpose of bearing fruit.  Eventually, the time and season have come and the tree starts to bear fruit that is sweet and delicious. As the tree continues to mature, it gives more than it takes. Each new fruitful season is a reminder that the sacrifices of our past were well worth the enjoyment we experience in the present.  

Likewise, we nurture our children through infancy, toddlership, and adolescence.  We do our best to rear them through sound principles that secure and prop them up.  Unfortunately, we cannot protect them from everything. Life causes them to grow and mature in their own unique and profound ways.  Eventually, these children start to bear fruit of independence, humor, success, and responsibility. Over time they start to give more than they receive and we start to be the recipients of our labor of love.  The infant that was once thought of as a burdensome liability becomes one of our greatest assets in our property of life.

I have thought about this process a lot lately as my family evolves and matures (so quickly it seems).  My oldest is starting high school while my youngest will tackle second grade. Parenting can still be challenge but I find myself overwhelmed with joy in the personal relationships I am developing with each one of my five children.  They are providing me a happiness that I cannot find elsewhere. The tireless work of my past is bearing great fruit that I plan to enjoy for many years to come.

My father and mother are 30 years further along in the cultivation of their own orchard.  Counting children, children’s spouses, and grandchildren their family consists of 28 unique and different individuals. This family unit came together a few weeks back for a four day vacation to Bear Lake (picture shown above).  This picture is a great reminder of what a lifetime of service, sacrifice, and love can yield. It was great to spend time with this large family as a father, son, husband, brother, and uncle. I can only imagine how fulfilling it must have been for my parents to watch their posterity come together.

Parenthood is hard.  It is hard at every stage of the process.  Some do better in the early years of infants and toddlers while others excel at connecting with teenagers.  This summer has given me a greater perspective on what I am working towards and why the sacrifices of my past and present, in behalf of my children, are worth it.  Building a family is a worthy endeavor that appears selfless but, in reality, gives more than it takes (if we do it right). I am grateful I had the faith to start my orchard building days at the young age of 24 because I am loving it in a way I could not comprehend 15 years ago.  

Journaling: A Storm Life Remembered

Family

A few months ago, an old friend requested some information about our time together in the Canary Islands.  To find the information she requested, I had to go through several cartons of childhood pictures, trophies, yearbooks, scrapbooks, and journals.  One of the five journals I found contained the info she was looking for. Upon cleaning up this historic mess I decided to keep a few of these journals accessible for future review when I had some extra time. It had been 15+ years since I had read this history.  

One Sunday evening, a month or so later, I finally got around to opening my 1997-1998 journal (Junior and Senior Years of High School).  I was shocked; shocked on all that I had forgotten. I was reminded of who I was, who others were, what they meant to me, and how far I had come.  I was able to see personal life patterns that have continued over the years. Memories that had been truth were corrected and revised. Other memories that had died with time were resurrected.  

I was reliving portions of my past in a very real way.  It was an incredibly fulfilling experience and something that money could not buy.  I am so glad that I had the discipline to record these thoughts, experiences, and impressions of my youth.   

I have kept a journal since 1997.  The regularity of these entries has ranged from weekly to monthly.  Since having this blast from the past my entry frequency has increased.  I find myself recording my life with more detail than I have in years. It has also caused me to be much more aware of my current circumstances and not wanting to lose it to time.  I do not want to forget a great conversation with one of my children, a fun Saturday as a family, or a challenging moment that caused me to stretch and grow. I now see my life more like a story; a story that I want to read and reference again in the future.  

Life is a journey and we only get one chance at it.  To capture who we were is a powerful tool to measure who we are today.  To observe our fulfillment, peace, and happiness at various landmarks in our lives provides answers to what we may be missing in our current circumstances.  Our life experience molds us into who we are. Remembering it more clearly will help the mold to set more firmly and solidify us for our future. As the old saying goes:  “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the next best time is now”. Start a journal today and I promise it will be a very rewarding experience. Opening a Google Docs page and titling it “Journal 2018” is a great place to start.  Good luck!

The Powerful Habit of Association

Connection

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I recently came across an article that cited a common theme among the daily habits of the wealthy.  The one habit emphasized most was that of association. This association includes the avoidance of one type of person:  the pessimist.

“Self-made millionaires are very particular about who they associate with,” Corley writes in his book, Change Your Habits, Change Your Life: “You are only as successful as those you frequently associate with. The rich are always on the lookout for individuals who are goal-oriented, optimistic, enthusiastic, and who have an overall positive mental outlook.”

Eighty-six percent of the rich people in his study made a habit out of associating with other success-minded individuals. On the flip side, “they also make a point to limit their exposure to toxic, negative people”.

Not everyone is focused on becoming a self-made millionaire but that does not mute the relevance of this principle.  Anybody that is serious about real and sustained change must recognize the vital role that others play in their success.  Surrounding ourselves with other like-minded people who are striving to achieve similar objectives to our own will provide synergistic support that is vital to its achievement.  

I personally have experienced this in my own life.  I am a member of an amazing church; The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (a.k.a Mormon church).  We are known for an extremely high standard of living. Some of these standards include:

  • Abstinence from drugs, alcohol, coffee, tea, sex before marriage, pornography, gambling, etc.
  • Follow the biblical commandment of paying an honest tithe to the Lord (10% of our income)
  • No paid ministry.   Our congregations operate on the service hours of its members.  
  • Sabbath day observance.  We rest on the 7th day from regular weekly activities.
  • Attend three hours of church each Sunday.
  • And More

Living such standards has been an integral part of my personal success as it relates to my myself, marriage, and family.  I have been able to live these standards most of my life because of the power of the church community of which I am a part.  Even with this great communal support there have been times when I have faltered.

I learned a powerful lesson during this phase of my life; in order for me to hold true to my values I needed to increase my depth and frequency of communication with like-minded people.  These like-minded people were found both in and outside of my faith. In fact, I received the most powerful strength from those of differing belief systems.

My experience has taught me that we, as humans, need support beyond ourselves to live and achieve our values and goals.  This support is found in surrounding ourselves with positive individuals who are on a similar path to our own. We share, listen, and genuinely care as we come together.  There is power in numbers. There is power in positivity. There is power in sharing our common experience and support. If you feel you need this additional resource then look for an individual (friend, coach, therapist), groups, and organizations that will magnify your ability to achieve these goals.  I promise that you will be deeply grateful you did so.

Mosquito Bites: If You Scratch They Will Itch

Addiction

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Mosquitoes were a common, but uncomfortable, part of my childhood.  Playing in the creek or going on a hike was usually accompanied by a swat on the neck, arm or leg.  The most painful mosquito experience came in the summer of 1995 when I went on a 50 mile hike in Yosemite.  While gathering filtered water at a nearby pond I was attacked by a barrage of those annoying pests.  I was inflicted with over 40 bites all over my body in a matter of minutes. I have always been told not to itch but I could not resist.  I would itch and it would feel so good.  The more I itched the better I felt (or so I thought).  I quickly found myself in a cycle of itch escalation.  I could never itch enough to remove the extremely annoying sensation.  I eventually came to grips that if I was going to get some sleep I would have to suffer through and ignore the screaming bites all over my body. After what felt like hours the itching and blisters started to subside and go away.

Here is a more clinical view of what happened that night:  

“When you scratch a mosquito bite, this causes the skin to become even more inflamed. Since inflammation causes your skin to itch, you can get into a cycle where scratching will cause even more of an itchy sensation. In addition, by continuing to scratch you run the risk of breaking the skin and causing an infection, leading to even more of an itch.”  Debra Sullivan, PhD, MSN, CNE, COI

In my adult life I have been fairly free from the perils of mosquitoes and their bites.  Yet, the pattern of itch and scratch, metaphorically speaking, has persisted throughout my adult years.  The “mosquitoes” that I now deal with are the addictive activities that try to swarm my existence throughout my daily living.  These mosquitoes bite when we start to engage.  Once we engage in the activity the swelling of “need” starts to blister our souls.

The natural inclination to get rid of the discomfort is to “scratch”.  Scratching occurs when we engage again and again in the specified harmful behavior.  These metaphorical mosquitoes come in all shapes and sizes; online shows, substance abuse, social media, pornography, food, etc.. Some of these behaviors in moderation may not do much harm.  It is when we start to rely on these behaviors to deal with the dynamics of life that they become addictive, destructive, and harmful.

The answer to such “bites” is the ability to resist the urge and not scratch. This is not easy. We may feel anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and loneliness if we don’t satisfy the “need”. How did we handle mosquito bites as kids? We distracted ourselves by playing with friends or engaging our minds in some other activity. It was always easiest if we had friends around.  The same goes with our adult bites.  We need to surround ourselves physically and emotionally with support.  Often times the best “friends” are the ones who have the same type of bite and are striving for the same type of freedom.  We also went to parents for love and support during these times.  God is our parent and can provide the same type of strength.  

We all get bitten in some form or fashion. The severity of the bites and symptoms vary but the reality is the same.  The more we scratch the more it itches and the more damage we do to our souls.  Avoiding the “mosquitoes” of life as much as possible is ideal.  Not scratching when bitten is essential to avoid the cyclical bondage that will ensue.  Figure out a plan today to stop itching, heal the broken blisters, and gain the freedom of an itch-free existence.   

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