We live in a facebook, twitter, instagram, and snapfish world. These online social communities easily allow us to stay current with family, friends, and acquaintances. We are updated on everything from the simple (#loveeatingout) to the life changing (#divorcesucks). We read, view, and comment where we feel so inspired. This process provides us with a feeling of connectivity.
But are we really connecting? To connect is “to bring together or into contact so that a real link is established”. Is social media providing us a “real link” with other people? It is a link but I would argue that the link is counterfeit. I say this because of my many interactions with millennials whose community primarily consists of social media. These same millennials suffer from loneliness, depression, and addiction. They lack authentic connection which can be best found in a real community.
Real communities are those in which a group of people come together for a common purpose. The size of these communities range from a handful of people to thousands. Regardless of the size, the individual connections we make with these people fill an innate human need to be with and share our interests, values, and goals with others. To maximize the internal, and external, benefits of these communities we must be willing to contribute our time, talents, and, in some cases, even our money for the specified cause. In return, they provide us with meaningful relationships, genuine support, and an expanded network that will prove helpful in the most unexpected ways.
Traditionally these communities have been found in neighborhoods, churches, and other special interest groups. Today, because of the isolating nature of connected devices, many such communities are becoming weaker, fewer, and more difficult to join. Difficult in the sense that many know not where to look or how to integrate themselves into them. These in-person communities require face-to-face interactions and skills that are being neglected in the upbringing of our young people.
I am passionate about communities because of the powerful way they have impacted my life. I am Christian and belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am also a member of a smaller men’s group. They both provide me with connection, support, and happiness that is irreplaceable. For example, my wife had surgery a couple weeks ago and the women at my church brought dinners for the family during the weekdays. This allowed me to catch up on the other household items being neglected and prevented me from becoming too overwhelmed. While all this was going on I asked around for a saw to cut down the ugly, dead palm tree leaves in our front yard. One of my friends from church had the saw I needed and we arranged a time for me to pick it up. Without saying a word, he came to my house, while I was at work, and took care of the entire job himself. My family and I were loved and supported during a difficult time by good people in my church community. These experiences are the tip of the iceberg of the many blessings of friendship, personal progress, and service received and given over the almost four decades of my life.
If you don’t feel you have such a community then start the process of finding one today. It is an integral part of what makes us happy. Countless studies have validated this truth. If you have such a community but have distanced yourself from it then commit yourself to putting in the work to be a part of it again. Social media is an inadequate substitute that will mask and distract you from developing “real link(s)”. Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone and start connecting with neighbors, groups, and/or your church community today. If you are willing to put in the work over a sustained period of time to truly be a part of a community you will be a happier, and better, person as a result.
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