As children we are constantly trying new things. It is a part of natural human development. These new things are always tied to mistakes and errors. Our ability to walk comes after many tumbles and falls. Our ability to speak comes after countless attempts to mimic noises, words, and voice fluctuations. Our ability to read comes through a laborious trial and error effort of sounding out letters, guessing words, and making mistakes along the way. We experiment with how to shoot a basketball, draw an object, and play an instrument. Childhood development is filled with hits and misses that are viewed as beautiful and fully accepted (even supported) by society, family, and friends.
Unfortunately, something changes along the way. With each passing elementary school year our appetite to try new things decreases. This is a reflection of the unfavorable image we may portray to our peers and teachers. We don’t want to be viewed as stupid, dumb, incapable, or a failure. We start to care too much about what others think. We become self conscious about making mistakes. As a result, many of us stop taking risks. Less risk means less room for failure and being made fun of. Eventually most of us fall in line with what is accepted and safe.
This pattern is further reinforced as we enter middle school, high school and proceed to be educated in some career. This safe approach may add a certain level of protection but what we give up far outweighs what we gain. Increased safety means decreased growth, progress, and ability to fulfill our potential. It leads to mediocrity (albeit safe mediocrity). Not just mediocrity in our careers but mediocrity in our relationships, values, and, ultimately, our happiness level. For many, the capacity and tolerance for growth-centered activities is low; thus creating a significant deficiency in the quality of individuals we are versus who we could be.
A different mindset must take hold to liberate us from our debilitating and lethargic comfort zone. We need to rethink what success really means. Success is not doing everything just right or perfectly. If you have done something just right from the get go then you are playing it too safe and not growing. Success is instead doing something that stretches you and that causes you to fail. That’s right fail. Failure is a part of risk and an essential ingredient to success. Success does not exist without failure. Success does not exist without risk. Both are required. The more we fail the more we learn and the more sweet the experience is when we succeed. We open ourselves to feel deep and profound feelings that are inaccessible to those who avoid risks.
Such risks don’t have to be as significant as leaving your job to pursue your dream career. Meaningful risk can be found in pursuing activities that align with your core values. If connection is important then finding ways to connect with people will likely require uncomfortable activities. It may be joining a group, service organization, or putting yourself out there to have someone over for dinner. If achievement is important then signing up for a half marathon is a risk one may decide to take. The outcome is unknown, the challenge hard, but the process and experience (regardless of the outcome) is priceless.
Identify your core values. Assess the adjustments required to align everyday living with these values. Proceed to take the risk to integrate these into your life. Accept failure as part of the process and a welcome result…for it means that you are pushing your limits and growing. One’s purpose is to be happy and have joy. I promise that having faith in the risk taking process will fulfill this purpose. Good luck and may the failure, and success, be with you.
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