I loved milkshakes as a kid. I remember my dad making them with a malt additive on our biscuit colored blender. He would tell stories of the Malt Cup he organized and the battle between the scout leaders and scouts on who could down the most malts at Fenton’s Creamery. I remember going to Mel’s Diner in high school on Friday and Saturday nights and connecting with friends with milkshake in hand. I continued my love affair with milkshakes throughout my 20’s and into my 30’s. It was not the healthiest love in the world but it is one I really enjoyed.
A little over four years ago, I noticed that my desire to consume milkshakes was decreasing. Even with this decreased desire I would continue to order them every chance I got because I “loved” them (at least that is what I told myself). After a while, I started to understand that the decrease in desire was tied to an uncomfortable feeling I would get after drinking one. I had become lactose intolerant (at least in larger quantities). The crazy thing is it took me a good three years to stop drinking milk shakes even with this intolerance. It wasn’t until I started to be mindful about my experience and share it with my sweetheart did I accept that I no longer enjoyed milkshakes. This realization was a sad one for I loved the thought of a milkshake but ultimately I enjoyed feeling comfortable more than feeding an antiquated idea of fun.
The mind is a powerful thing. We often deceive ourselves into supporting behaviors that are based of some preconceived notion of fun or enjoyment that we created from past experience and/or social influences. Many of these “enjoyable” habits also possess a blinding pleasure-effect that masks the other realities of the experience. For example, many think they enjoy smoking but in actuality they do not. Nicotine satisfies a craving while masking some of the less favorable parts of the experience like the smell and other physical sensations smoking creates. Once an individual is mindful, he or she realizes that the overall experience is not nearly as enjoyable as they once thought. Sure, there are parts that they enjoy but being mindful of the entire experience and honestly taking note of what it offers changes their “want” of smoking.
To want something is very different than something we should do. When a habit goes from a should to a want the habit loses it power. This shift causes a change in who controls the habit because the value proposition has been significantly clarified in our minds and hearts. We place ourselves in a position for change when we want to change as opposed to we should change.
Taking a step back and being mindful of our short-term and long-term experience with a habit is critical in releasing its power. The key here is to be honest. Be honest with what the habit provides and what it takes. Be honest with the sensation/craving it satisfies and the purpose it serves. Be honest with how it helps you to cope with stress, exhaustion, or hunger. Be honest with how it impacts your confidence, relationships, and success at work. Be mindful of all facets of the experience the next time you do it. Create a written list of what it offers and what it takes. Expand the list of what your life is like with the habit and what it could be without it. Share this list with someone you trust. Revisit the list frequently to remind yourself of the identified reality.
If I wasn’t mindful about my milkshake experience I would still be drinking them based on old programming. I have evolved physically to the point that my body and lactose no longer get along. Our emotional maturation can also get to a point where a habit is no longer agreeable with our current paradigm. If we are mindful to analyze, understand, and accept what a habit offers we will increase our ability to choose based on truth and not on our customized fiction. Apply the milkshake advantage today and be mindful in all habits both good and bad. Such mindfulness will reinforce healthy habits and dis-empower destructive ones.
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