Connection is a human need that we all possess. It is required for healthy living and links us to something greater than ourselves. It allows us to understand life at a deeper level through the sharing of values, challenges, history, insights, goals, and joint experiences. It nurtures and expands our souls.
It is used to describe casual acquaintances, strengthening of emotional bonds between partners, and communing with a higher power. It can also describe an unspoken feeling of understanding between two individuals. Lastly, connection is a part of ourselves. Connection with oneself is to have powerful internal experiences that are generated through study, pondering, meditation, and by simply “being”. All such connections are vital to our emotional health and well-being.
Unfortunately, many of us lack sufficient healthy connections because of our isolating circumstances which separate us from others. This may be the result of schedules, living situations, personality types (among other factors). When this occurs we become vulnerable to empty substitutes that mask the hunger we experience deep in our soul. The mask comes in many varieties, shapes, and sizes…TV, drugs, alcohol, pornography, video games, etc. When we allow these counterfeits to be our primary source of connection we unknowingly starve our soul of that which it most needs; real connection.
The challenge is that real connection takes time, energy, and effort. It requires a decision to spend less time in the counterfeit world of entertainment and/or substance dependency and more time in building a network of healthy connection.
A network of healthy connection can be defined as a web of activities that nurture and foster fulfillment within one’s soul. To build such a web requires looking beyond one’s current lifestyle and identifying opportunities for further and deeper connection. Healthy, balanced connections include:
Casual Connections: These are available in the workplace, park, coffee shops, church, service organizations, etc. These connections allow us to feel part of something more than ourselves. We become part of a community.
Intimate Connection: These connections require vulnerability. Vulnerability is displayed through requests to spend time with another, sharing our real selves, and accepting rejection and failure as part of the process. Deeper connections don’t just happen. They require a lot from the both individuals. These connections are often found in those who know us best; spouses, children, childhood friends, college roommates, siblings, certain co-workers, support groups, and other relationships or groups where our true selves have been, or safely can be, shared. It takes two to tango but getting on the dance floor and taking the lead yourself can do wonders in orchestrating a fulfilling exchange.
Spiritual Connection: Call it what you will (God, Energy, Higher Power, etc.) but something exists beyond our physical selves. Learning to connect with it is incredibly edifying and fulfilling. Many do this through prayer, meditation, and readings. Learning to access this connection is an essential part of receiving the nourishing connection our soul needs.
Internal Connection: Internal connection is often found through literature that uplifts, edifies, inspires, and educates. We are all different and our likes, experiences, and preferences will allow us to connect with the literature that resonates most with our souls. Know what touches you and spend time in it. Writing is another process that facilitates insight, direction, and internal connection. Both reading and writing access a part of our souls untouched by most other things in life.
Our physical bodies teach us so much about our emotional and spiritual selves. A healthy diet will lead to energy, confidence, and longevity. An unhealthy diet of empty calories, sugars, and fats have the opposite effect and simply lead to deterioration of the body. Our souls follow the same principle. The more we foster and develop the right connections the greater our capacity to feel peace, happiness, and life. Counterfeit connections distract us from the emptiness and hunger we have and lead to deterioration and death. The effort required to make real connections is worth the incredible rewards. Make the decision today to increase and deepen your healthy connection network.
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